Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
