I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
