I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
