booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
