you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I see more hoeing in ur future
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
