Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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