Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
