Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize