yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
