Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
