Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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