So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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