He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
