AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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