So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
