i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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