They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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