How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
