Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
