then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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