I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
