I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
