The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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