how can u be prego again
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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