When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
