Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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