Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
