Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
