I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
