Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
