we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
