We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
