2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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