k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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