I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
