xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
