so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
