I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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