I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
