I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
