Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
