...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
