Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
