ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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