physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
