I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
