Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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