Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
