it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
