I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
