yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
