1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
