I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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