Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
