Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
