I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
