Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
