Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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