yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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