I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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