God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
they're like a gay fantastic four
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
